Taiwan Journal 05

So, it seems that I joined a club last week; the Hash House Harriers. Every Sunday, they go out and run through the hills around Taipei. The “Hare” runs first, leaving piles of flour for the rest to follow. The trails thread through winding trails, switch-backed roads, farms, cemeteries, temples, and even bamboo-laden undergrowth. Every so often, the hair leaves an X in the path and the trail ends, to pick up somewhere else.

Once everyone has reached the end, the runners gather for “down downs”. This continuous stream of toasts and curses end once everyone is drunk enough to begin stuffing themselves and mortifying onlookers in a local restaurant. The Hash Runners are made up of a mix of Taipei locals and English-speaking expats. Taking shots with a middle-aged Taipei businessman whose knowledge of English seems to be limited to “Lets Get Fucked Up!” Apparently, the tradition began in Malaysia by British colonial officers who used the hash runs to work off the previous night’s hangover.


My exploration of Taipei’s surrounding hills has not been limited to hash runs, however. Last week I decided to take a trip to Maokong valley, in the south east corner of the city, to ride the famous Gondola that’s advertised across the city. According to the map, the trailhead was just a short walk from the Subway stop, and indeed it was. That did not stop me from getting lost and heading down what I thought was a trail but in fact was a driveway. This driveway extended through the fields of a tea farm, and ended at the farmer’s septic tank. The farmer watched me confidently marching down the path to his septic tank with puzzled amusement. Once I returned he was happy to point me in the correct direction.


This path led me, predictably, up well maintained and adorned continuous sets of stairs. After climbing about 3/4ths of the way up the hillside, the trail spontaneously led through a small covered market, with venders selling noodles, trinkets, and incense. The reason for the incense, and indeed for the whole market, is the massive complex of temples just up the hill. There are Taoist, Buddhist, Shinto, and Confuciust temples all right next to one another. The between the humidity and the incense, it was difficulty to breath near the top of the hill.

In the end, I reached the gondola above the temples only to discover that it was closed for maintenance. This left me to walk back on the (thankfully) downhill trail into town. I got home and found that the grocery store was selling a pound of calamari for $50NT (about $1.75USD). What I did not realize when I bought them was that the little squids had not been gutted. And squid ink gets everywhere. Something to keep in mind.

Next week is Halloween, and I have been “volunteered” by my boss to dress in a gorilla suit to amuse the kids before I head out to a party. Many clubs here offer an open bar after a $600NT ($18USD) cover charge, so I am sure that it will be an interesting night.

Taiwan Journal 04

Taiwan Journal 04

I woke up Thursday to blue skies and decided today would be as good a day as any to go for a hike. After a too brief consult with my map and guide book, I headed out the door towards Yangmingshan National Park. Yangmingshan is located in the northern mountains directly overlooking the city, and so I was looking forward to picturesque views of the city. There are buses that will take you right into the park, but I noticed that there was a trail from the city limits that leads directly into the park, and decided to take that route.


I soon discovered that this “trail” consisted entirely of a rather steep set of staircases, weaving between the backyards of houses perched on steep slope. This trail took me to a road in the hills, at which point it abruptly died, leaving me to find my way through little slippery alleyways tucked between mountain streams and chain link backyard fences. I eventually reached a little wooded valley town at the park’s entrance. After a 3km clime, my hike began.


The designers of Yangmingshan have made an unfortunate decision. At one point or another, they decided visitors to the park should be fully capable of visiting all of the park’s locals in their Sunday best, with no fear of getting dirt on their cuffs. With this in mind, they paved almost every inch of trail with cobblestone or concrete. The well maintained stone steps I greatly appreciated during my ascent of Cising Mountain. But the poured concrete on the more gently sloping trails had become slick with rain and lichen and were treacherous even in my hiking boots. Cising Mountain itself was interesting, but the view was ruined by wind and fog that apparently covers the peak every afternoon (as I learned from a helpful sign I passed on the way down).
I have been playing a good deal of basketball since I arrived. Yankee pitchers may be the local sports stars, but every kid in my classes with any athletic interest plays basketball. The reasons for this are not hard to fathom. There are plenty of basketball courts across the city, most of which are lit and some even are sheltered from the rain. The courts are packed with quick little slashers with respectable handles, but surprisingly bereft of good pure shooters. They get away with lacking an outside game by calling touch fouls on every play that they miss. It is a little annoying, but considering that I am a good 2-4 inches taller than any other player, I cannot complain too much.


Classes are going well. I have a class of teenagers, a class of 8-10 year olds, and a class of real munchkins. My immigration papers are coming along in good time. I am considering investing in a scooter to expedite my travels out of the city. With the scooter comes a face mask to save my lungs from exhausts at stoplights. Almost every scooter driver wears one, as do many pedestrians when the newspaper reports high levels of pollution. Some days look like SARS day at Disneyland here, no joke. But ironically, everyone here smokes. Go figure.

Taiwan Journal 03

Back on it for a short one…
Weather in Taipei thus far could be accurately described as “soupy”. When it rains it is warm and foggy, when it doesn’t it is hot and humid. I have acclimated and the weather does not bother me too much. But it does make me incredibly thirsty. This, mixed with Taiwan’s questionable drinking water, means I have had ample opportunity to explore Taiwan’s many bottled drink options.
In many cases I have been pleased with what I have found. 7eleven offers $17($0.50USD) iced teas that have served me well, and there is a far better variety of canned and bottled coffee drinks than the US has. Where I run into problems is when I want a non-caffeinated drink late at night. There are many juices, and milks, and juice-milk combos. But they are often terrible. Most fall into one-of-two categories; “Soapy” or “Salty”. Neither category is what you want when parched. And one must be careful when buying large bottles of water to read the label carefully, to make sure your not getting “Lactic Acid Drink” or “Pocari Sweat”. Delicious.

Today is Yom Kippur, and last night I found a “synagogue” to go to for services. It was a reasonably nice service, with my only complaint being that, since it was being held in a hotel room in the Taipei Sheridan and because I accidentally came early and therefore ended up in the front row, when the service went in an unexpected direction in regards to the melody of the prayers or the order of the service, I felt that my confusion was prominently on display. I am not going to the service today, because 9 hours of synagogue is too much for me. I am fasting though, drinking only water. I am making the exception for water because, as I mentioned above, I am sweating all the time here. I have not pee’ed clear once since I got here and I’m worried that I will get ill if I do not drink.
Anywhoo… I found out about my classes. Ill be teaching a mixed bag of high-schoolers and munchkins. I seem to be having some problems with my Debit card, which is Really convenient especially since I need to pay my rent and deposit… today.

Taiwan Journal 02

Taiwan Journal 2

So, I am starting to settle in here. I have found a new apartment, walking distance from the school (and fixed my door). I have begun training and meeting the other teachers. I am increasing my still-sparse Chinese vocabulary. I am figuring out where to eat, what’s worth buying, where to go out, etc. So far, so good.

A couple things worth noting. As anyone who has attempted to walk with me around cities like New York or Washington knows, I am an avid jaywalker. I treat crosswalks and pedestrian traffic lights with bemused disdain, and traverse streets wherever traffic patterns allow. Taipei seems to have cured me of this habit. At first I waited at walk signs based on a “when in Rome” philosophy. Now I do so out of genuine mortal fear.
Lest you think I exaggerate, let me explain. People in this city cannot drive. Every day is like a rally race at a sweet sixteen party. People swerve. They accelerate until right before they stop. They ignore one-way signs. They drive up onto curbs to park, even when people are on those very curbs. They go straight through red lights. Honestly, they don’t even drive that fast. It’s not recklessness so much as a genuine lack of skill.

Of course, cars are only a small portion of the vehicles on the road, and that brings me to an entirely different dilemma. My new housemate’s theory is that people drive cars so poorly because they are use to driving scooters, and expect them to handle the same. More than three quarters of drivers are on scooters, rain or shine. When a red light turns green, you can tell without even looking from all the buzzing Vespa engines.

The Taiwanese scooter is an All Terrain Vehicle. It will be driven down highways or alleyways, over dirt or grass, off curbs and down sidewalks. Riding down sidewalks is a convenient way for the Taiwanese Scooter-enthusiast to avoid rush-hour congestion, or just to see the city from a different perspective. In any city this would create interesting choices for pedestrians, but the way buildings are constructed in Taipei makes it especially nerve-wracking. Most buildings’ in Taipei have their ground floor set back as to create an overhang under which pedestrians walk. With shops to one side and pillers, food venders, and parked bikes to the other, there is little room for a weary ambler to avoid oncoming scooters. About once a day someone reenacts the scene below from True Lies, with me as the bellhop pushed into the fountain (fast forward to about 2:45).

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True Lies - Mall Chase - Every10Mins.com

I actually have a bit more written that needs a little editing. That, along with a bunch of photos, I will put up tomorrow morning (in my new place!).

Taiwan Journal 01

So, here I am in Taiwan. I do not have a permanent address or a working cell phone, but I am here. I have signed my contract and received my assignment, working out of the head office in downtown Taipei. Hoorah.

(Canada, then Alaska)

It took about twenty-three hours for me to travel from JFK to Taipei. There were two stop-overs, a short one in Detroit and a slightly longer one in Osaka. The plane was old and uncomfortable, with only a single projector screen on the long trip from Detroit to Japan. The “highlight” of the films presented was the Wakowski Brother’s Technicolor disaster Speed Racer. However, anticipating the possibility of a nice view for the flight, I had made sure to secure a window seat on the right side of the plane, facing away from the sun for most of the flight. For this foresight I was rewarded with beautiful views of Canadian, Alaskan, and Siberian mountain ranges, which I dutifully gawked at for a healthy portion of the flight.

(Siberia)

I arrived at my temporary apartment in Taipei around 12:30am. I currently need four keys to open the many doors between the street and my room, though when I first arrived I needed five. The alley my building is on is not particularly well lit, and the locks are stubborn. After putting my things down in my room I decided to take a walk to look for a snack. Upon returning I was unable to figure out how to open the first lock (you have to turn it, pull out, then push in). I assumed that I had the wrong door, or worse even the wrong street. So I spent a half an hour trying belatedly to find the right one, worrying that my first night in Taipei would be on the street.

(Sky over Japan)

I eventually found my way in to discover one of my housemates returning from a bar. He asked me if I wanted to go with him to the 7eleven around the corner. I agreed and closed the door to my room, only to realize that the door had locked and I had left my keys on my bed. My new housemate was completely sloshed and as such the advice he gave was less than useful. After a couple aborted attempts to use a credit card to open the door, I made an executive decision that however much it would cost to repair the door was worth less than reaching my bed after my long flight. So with one swift kick I gained entrance. The bolt from the handle hit the wall opposite the door and I promptly collapsed asleep.

(View From Apartment Balcony)

Taipei seems like a pretty cool city so far.  It is like a cross between the city in Blade Runner and an old sauna. Many of the buildings look like duct tape was a vital building material. Much of the architecture was built in the 50’s and 60’s. The Kuomintang had to build quickly during that period to accommodate a million refugees from China. However, they were convinced that they would quickly reconquer the mainland, so the buildings did not have to be built to last. The past fifty years have not been kind to them.

Mopeds absolutely own the city, due to the fact that many of the side streets are too narrow for cars and sidewalks are considered more of a luxury than a necessity. The most surprising thing I have noticed is the prevalence of “western” food. Sandwiches and hot dogs seem almost as common as dumplings and noodles, even with street venders.

(View From my Room)

I am going to try to keep this blog well stocked with stories and photos from my time here, as well as the occasional political rant.